Leah was able to join in the shenanigans at the Peninsula with us. We had fun swimming in December. And the pizza was good. You can see her a bit in one photograph; an 18-month-old is hitching a ride in my lap in the wheelchair, and Leah is behind me wearing a red top. I couldn’t show her completely, but I did want her in the photos. So, we went half way between the two.
I hate when Leah is feeling low; I hate seeing her like that. She mumbles, she’s weepy, and talks of dying. It’s strange that I bear no hatred toward the sadistic psychopath who did this to her. It’s like he’s still torturing her. That’s the thing about mistreatment of people—especially children. It stays with them. It damages the mind.
Don’t get me wrong: he should die in prison. I mean, it’s not his fault he operates outside of human nature, but he’s still responsible for his behavior. It’s our nature to be sympathetic, to care for our children, to not enjoy creating pain in another human being. That is who we are.
I have written about this, and I have looked closely at everything from Enlightenment philosophy to the latest research. It all points to the idea that we have a nature. This is not to suggest we’re angels; but we’re not demons either.
I recently bought Leah a beautiful Canada Goose puffer coat. She loved it; she was shaking when she opened the box. It was midnight blue and looked resplendent on her. But we decided an iMac would be more practical. Probably the purple one.
Her studies continue apace. She is about to embark on a reading of Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov. She’ll be doing so with friend Michael. Seeing as though Michael is a Russian-literature scholar, she’s in good hands.
I, however, won’t be joining them because of my Adam Smith studies, which will likely take me through the summer. I posted a little bit about it on the ol’ blog.
I already have rooms reserved at the Peninsula for December 2026. Such a good time was had; I typically don’t really do fun, but after my close call, I’ve decided a bit of fun is just fine.
Leah was nervous about socializing in a group. She seriously irritated me when she said, “I don’t want to embarrass you.” I said, “That is horseshit—why did you even say that??” She could not embarrass me.
Such a thought is ridiculous. If she switched, it would likely be Bailee. Leah and Bailee are like twin sisters. I would just introduce everyone to Bailee. “Hey everybody …” It would be fine. And even if she went to a dark place or bottomed out, it would still be fine. I love Leah, and she comes first.
My father’s wife met Bailee. Leah was over, and she was sitting on my bed. She all of a sudden switched and I was then chatting with Bailee. My father’s wife came down and entered the room. I whispered to Bailee, “Can I tell her?” Bailee nodded.
Cece wandered over and I said, “Cece, I’d like you to meet Bailee.” Bailee got all embarrassed; it was quite adorable. I said, “Don’t be weird! I’ve seen you socialize before.” “But I’m shy.” “No you’re not.” Cece was a pro and cheerfully said, “Hello, Bailee!” Like nothing. Like she’d done it a hundred times. Gold star.
Bailee will be delighted she got mentioned in this update. Oh, and Bailee, I love you. And tell Blair I love them, too.
Fun fact: Leah always green lights these updates. So, I read it to “her” over the phone, and then discovered it was Bailee on the phone. So, Leah, if you don’t like it … it’s Bailee’s fault. ;-)
